a new skill

I think I've actually mastered the ability to become invisible.

This all started: I go to get an oil change at a place which I will not name, but they sell tires and batteries nationally.

I'm standing there behind another guy who has been standing there for a while. And yes, you should focus your attention on your current customer, but at least acknowledge the fact you know we are there and will be with you in a minute. Take a tip from WalMart. Hire a greeter. They usually live on social security and would be happy for a job. Plus you'll be puttng Obama's plan into action.

Fast-forward to the evening, where kids usually have birthday parties where you can also practice putting by shooting golf balls between the legs of various animals on green painted carpet.

So I'm standing at the counter, money exposed, waiting to putchase a drink for a price that would make Jerry Jones' concession stands blush.

Several people, whom I ASSuME work there since they wear shirts that match and prominetly display the company logo on the front, walk back and forth, to and from, filling drinks, punching buttons on the microwave and anything else that indicates that you are busy trying to look busy.

So I'm standing there, right up against the counter expecting to be the next one to donate to the independent yet unbilically tied to major chain by name business.

Another customer, who has nothing on me in looks, age gender or race, and tenure, gets waited on after just walking up and blurting out something that only experienced, nursing home guards can only decipher.

So the invisibility characteristic shows its true colors, or hides it. Not sure in this case.

So I politely inform management/owner that he should probably train his staff to acknowledge people with money in hand, especially if they look foregin since it is so easy to cheat foreigners.

Obviously not feeling any remorse but regret that he potentially lost the sale of a 5.00 12oz drink, has these future CEO's approach me later to apologize.

What I said and what I thought are two totally different things. I will not divulge what was going through my mind when apology #1 approached since I have a rule, which I have never tested but nontheless a rule, that I would never pursue anything younger than my oldest daughter. I don't think I even made eye contact with her when I said ok, simply because the eyes on her body were bigger than the eyes on her head.

Which, after all of that, I am convinced that I have mastered the art of invisibility and stealth and will put this theory to the ultimate test.

Later I plan to go to the most popular women's only gym into the locker room and remove all my clothes and see if anyone notices.

Doing the right thing, but at the wrong time

for those that know me, you know that i volunteer my time for soccer related activities. well, to make a short story long,

I was opening the fields getting ready for the days' first games. I went to go check on some fields when I noticed this vehicle that was parked strangely. There were no other cars around this one in the parking lot. The vehicle was parked across several spots with its front tires up against the curb. I kinda just dismissed it thinking this person wanted to watch their son/daughter play and was too lazy to park right.

I approached the vehicle and noticed it was still running. I went over to the driver's side and noticed a gentleman who appeared to be out, asleep, or whatever. So I gently knocked on the window to get his attention, but he didn't wake up or acknowledge me. So I knocked a bit harder, thinking he may be asleep. I could see that he was breathing, but seemed to be having some difficulty breathing. So I knocked a bit harder this time. Still no acknowledgement. So at this point, I'm beating the window trying to get his attention, still nothing. Well at this point, all these thoughts are going through my mind. First thing I think of is heart attack, then diabetic coma. All the doors are locked, the truck is still in drive, and I'm thinking I need to call 911.

so I call 911, operator asks me all these questions, some of which are superfluous, but nonetheless necessary I guess. Well the fire station is like 2 blocks away so almost immediately they show up.

the fire department has this handy little gadget that opens any locked car with some radio frequency signal. They were able to get the door open. So they are trying to wake this guy and cant get him to wake up. He somewhat responds but still is out of it. I think they shoved an IV into him and he is still out.

Well, by this time I'm thinking to myself, "I'm a hero, I just saved some one's life". Lets see, key to the city, maybe a guest in Jerry Jones' suite during a Cowboys game, Letterman or Leno, etc...

So I leave to go take care of the rest of my duties. Then after a while, I go back and everyone has left except for a tow truck and the cop that showed up with the rest of the emergency responders. I introduce myself to the lady cop as the person that called 911.

Did i mention this lady cop was really kinda hot? She asks for my name, number where I can be reached, some other questions which I cant seem to remember cause she was really cute, and then I ask her how was the gentleman doing? I told the officer I called 911 because I could not get a response after repeatedly beating on this guy's window, and was concerned for his well being. She then asked me how long had he been there, and if I witnessed him pulling into the parking lot. She also asked if I had talked to any witnesses who may have seen him pull in. I said one person saw the truck come in but was driving slowly. They thought he was driving to the porta potty there in the parking lot. So when I asked how he was doing, she replies,

"He was drunk",

Ah. So I am thinking to myself, why did she ask for my name and number? Maybe she wants to handcuff me after she gets off her shift?

One can only hope. See what happens when you try and do the right thing?

The Uncommon cold

I think I am suffering from the uncommon cold. Not common like everyone Else's colds, but mine, unique and specific to me. It doesn't affect anyone else. If it did, it wouldn't be my cold, but someone Else's that I am borrowing.

its all mine.

Time constraints and justice

I had the recent opportunity to participate in a "focus group". This particular group was no different than any others, but it got me to thinking...

what if jurors felt the same way I did towards the end of the group's allotted time? In other words, at the risk of going into hypoglycemic shock from lack of food, I decided to "go with the masses" instead of explaining to them how I was right and how they were so not in the ballpark like the Rangers in game 7 of the World Series. Damm sheeple.

If I was a juror determining the innocence or guilt of a person, how could I let something like cold sweats and dizziness determine the fate of a man? Then the truth finally hit me. I was not on a jury and I was getting paid for this AND we had a time limit. Low blood sugar can wreck havoc on the reasoning centers of the brain.

People do eat sheep, don't they?

AT&T is destined to #FAIL

I spent the last 2 hrs on the phone getting bounced from department to department, hung up on twice (I think they found out I was Asian and probably smarter than them) only to find out that one of their systems is down.

I found this out from a really nice person in their "billing" department. I unloaded on this poor girl but then apologized to her that it wasn't her that I was upset with, but their system and the way the calls are routed. She assured me that she would get an answer for me.

I know that "system is down" is the standard answer similar to Microsoft's "did you reboot your machine" answer, but they need to train their entry-level techs to respond to any question with that statement. Then I would only resent the company itself, not the people working for it.

And although their system "wasn't" down and that there was no good explanation for my loss of data other than possible operator error or sunspots, I took the answer graciously so as to make this billing person feel like she actually had a meaningful job.

I thanked her and told her I would give it 24 hrs and if the problem wasn't resolved, then I would be calling back.

I have a feeling she probably quit that afternoon.